Stress-Paralyzation (n) – When you are so overwhelmed with your current to-do list that you can only sit and scroll through your Facebook feed.
Ok, maybe that’s not an official definition, but it should be.
We have all been there completely overwhelmed by the many tasks set before us that we don’t know where to start, and so we go to what’s comfortable and a lot of times not productive at all. It’s like being in that dream where you are trying to run away or get out of the burning house, and you can’t even move to help save your life.
I love to fail. There I said it. I am a full blown pessimist. The glass is most definitely half empty. In fact the desire in me to fail is so strong, so oppressive that it is almost palpable.
For several months I have been on a weight loss journey. During that time, I have learned a lot about myself. One of the most poignant lessons I have learned is that success scares me. Not just the jump out of the closest scare either. We are talking Night of the Living Dead, Freddy Kreuger, and that weird clown from Poltergeist all rolled into one.
Preparing to leave home for a week of quiet time and personal reflection, I was asking God what was I meant to do? I know I have been called to be a mother and I do love that job, really I do. However I have also been crying out to God for another outlet beyond motherhood.
There is a part of me thinking “Is there something on the side that I can do that gets me re-energized?” I asked God to show me because I seriously have no clue what that is. I see in other people a zeal for a hobby, a job, or interests that I just don’t have.
My prayer, “Lord, show me how to get that.”