Today was one of those days. I felt the weight of all of my tasks falling down on me. I had cleaned and organized for days, only to look around and have nothing to show for it.
I worked hard.
I’m tired of working hard for what seems has no reward.
My children weren’t particularly bad, but it just felt like every single one needed me at that exact moment. About ready to burst, I found myself breathless. I was feeling physical symptoms.
Doing what any Supermom would do I carried on trying to be strong. Eventually finding myself in a quiet room nursing my precious baby asking myself, “What am I doing?” Why in the world did I have all of these kids? Why did I choose this life?
Telling myself, “I am not good at this! I am pretty horrible at this whole mothering thing.”
That is when I hit my wall. More like slammed into the wall. I would like to say at that moment that I cried out to God for strength. I did not. I wallowed in it, going deeper into myself letting the enemy defeat me.
My husband came in and asked me what’s going on. Of course like any “supermom” does I say I’m all right, which we all know is a lie.
Thankfully, my husband knows me well and forced the issue until I eventually spoke up, bringing my fears and frustrations to the light. He told me to leave the house. Go. Get some solace and perspective. Get alone with God.
I cried to God pouring out my heart asking the tough questions. “Why am I struggling today? Why did you give me the blessing of this family that I can’t take care of perfectly? Why me?”
I’m tired of being supermom. I’m tired of looking like I have it all together. Because honestly, I don’t. I am in constant need of the Lord to sustain me. I believe that’s where he wants me.
I’m writing this to you supermoms out there to tell you.
- Being a supermom isn’t being perfect. Having a bad day is ok. In fact having a bad day is the Lord showing us a need for him. He’s showing us that we can’t do it on our own we need to rely solely on Him.
- It’s ok to ask for help. I know it’s hard. I realize it’s humbling. But we aren’t meant to do it alone. We live in community with other believers for a reason.
- Seek solace. In my times of great distress, I need to go to where it’s quiet and be with the Lord to help recenter. In times of stress, everything seems a lot worse than what it is. Taking a minute to breath is necessary. Isn’t this what we tell our little ones “go, get self-control” and then once they do you have a different child. We are the same creatures.
- Don’t let mommy guilt creep in. I know for me when I start feeling like a failure. Guilt and comparison set it. I compare myself to other moms that seem to be doing it perfectly.
Then I step back and condemn myself for not being “that” mom. Mommy guilt rears its ugly head, and I compensate for the seeming imperfections that I have. Which turns into a vicious cycle of failure and guilt which hinder our walk with the Lord. Mom, you are not alone. This guilt is just another tool of the enemy to keep you defeated.
- Learn to run to our God for strength. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Rest in Christ today. His power is made perfect in our weakness.
Let that simmer.
Cry out to God for he knows our struggles. And Remember that he has placed you in the season that you are in right now with the children he has blessed you with not to do the work alone but through His power.