I remember the day very well that I made the switch from being a working mom to a full time stay at home mom. I couldn’t believe it; I was so excited to have days home with my kids. My husband and I prayed for this for what seemed forever. The first few weeks were amazing. I absolutely loved it. My husband loved it. My son loved it. My son was so happy that I could finally do school with him all day.
I would like to tell you that the honeymoon period never ended but that would be a lie. I began to feel worthless. All I did every day all day was clean up messes, do laundry, change children, cook, clean up some more, and do school. It was just a continuous cycle, and I found myself becoming very discontent.
To be honest, I struggled with these feelings inside for many months. The key word there is inside. What I did not realize was that this was a “scheme” of the enemy. The enemy likes to keep us in the dark. He wants us to wrestle in turmoil on the inside and away from other people. As it says in 1Peter 5:8. He doesn’t want us seeing the light of the truth. I realized that I was feeling guilty for not loving my new job that God had given me.
I began to hide. I was trying to change things in my power. I came to the end of myself and started praying to God asking for Him to bring back the joy and to alter the desires of my heart to be a stay at home mom again. Once I spoke the words and surrendered myself to Christ, He opened the floodgates and began to show me so much truth.
- First, he showed me my identity is in Christ alone. It is not wrapped up in a job title, not even one as important as “mommy”. God showed me that I am doing precisely what I was designed to do. I am in a position to shepherd the hearts of my children which in turn makes me a shepherd of my future grandchildren. We are leading the next generation to walk in the truth of God’s Word. That is an enormous task! It is a rewarding task, much more than any other job we will ever have or do! I was reminded of Deut 6:8-9.
- Secondly, I am necessary. Staying home and taking care of my home and training my children is a vital job. Someone has to do it and who is better equipped than the person who lives there and is the mother of those children. God has gifted us with the perfect children for us. They teach us so much, right? We change and grow just as much as they do on life’s journey.
- Finally, my strength is made perfect in weakness. When I am weak, He is strong. Some days of mothering are hard. But, my friend, it’s a sanctification process; it is making us more and more like Jesus. When we are weak and overwhelmed, we cry out to God for strength. It is in our weaknesses that He reaches down and gives us the grace to continue. It is in our weakness that the grace of God can work through us.
How about you? Are you struggling with feeling lonely or worthless? Are there days when you yearn for something more than changing diapers, doing laundry, and cleaning up messes? Do you wonder if the sacrifice is worth it? Turn to Christ. Cry out to God to align the desires of your heart to match the season in which He has placed you. Pray, for Him to show you truth. He will be faithful. Take a few moments to meditate on Deut 7:9 and Lam 3:22-23.
Fellow mom, remember that God has you right where He wants you. Find joy in the struggles and the victories and mommy on! I’ve included a few resources from The Familyman that I have found helpful in the struggle to be a homeschooling homemaker. Including one for the husband who needs some wisdom in how to stand beside you. Enjoy!