Oh, dear mama how I know the struggle is real. Our time and affections are demanded of us constantly. Some nights I crawl into bed, and the absolute last thing I want is someone touching me.
All day I am poked, prodded, climbed on, and yes, even sucked. I don’t feel very sexy. Heck, I’m lucky if I got a shower that day or even the day before. And yet my husband still crawls in beside me and wants me, post baby belly stretch marks and all.
My mom mentor, Heidi St. John, wrote a book called The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance. She talks about getting to a place in her marriage where they had been living parallel lives. She was busy with children and her husband ministry their relationship was starting to become disconnected. After going out to talk with her husband he just looked at her and said I want “that girl” back. You know the girl that I met. The girl that I fell in love with and married.
For years I have held to a conviction to allow the Lord plan my family. Currently, we have a one-year-old and by this time I historically would be expecting our next child.
I need, to be honest, I’m in a battle with the Lord right now. For many reasons, I believe that I want to be done with childbearing.
Life is chaotic.
I’m growing weary of having infants.
I’m ready to focus on having older children and doing fun things that sometimes you can’t do with littles.
I want to enjoy “retirement” someday.
I want to have time left with just hubby and me to enjoy “single” life.
About 5 minutes after my son had left for work I get a phone call from him. In the world of texting getting an honest to goodness phone call from your 17 year old usually means something bad has happened. Mother’s intuition was right once again. He was indeed in a car accident. Thankfully no one was injured, but our poor van was in pretty rough shape.
Amongst all of the phone tag with insurance companies and scrambling to find us a rental car to fit our large family, I started to have fear creep into my heart and mind it sounded something like this. “You know the van is probably totaled, and you totally can’t afford to buy a new car right now. What are you going to do? How are you going to survive? This weekend is such a crazy weekend. Why this weekend? Why not another time because you know there are definitely better times to have accidents. How is this all going to work out? This was not in your plans for this weekend.”
As summer is gearing up, I wanted to discuss a topic near and dear to the mother of a large family. Vacations.
Packing for a family of 9 is no easy task. I am not a super organized person to begin with, and it definitely doesn’t come naturally to me. Those around me namely my husband wishes that were not the case, but hey I have my own list for him. I am just kidding.
When we are getting ready for a trip, this is usually the prime opportunity for stress paralyzation to kick in.
If you missed my previous blog about dealing with Stress paralyzation I define it as When you are so overwhelmed with your current to-do list that you can only sit and scroll through your Facebook feed.
We have all been there when we have too many things to do, and we lack the ability just to focus on one and get that thing done. Packing does this for me! I procrastinate until the very last minute and then I’m crazy. I have learned the hard way more than I’d care to talk about that this is not a good plan.
The day before my son’s graduation I completely lost my voice. I couldn’t believe it. Considering I was supposed to speak at his graduation which made it all the worse. However as I looked to the Lord, it turned out to be quite the blessing. When you start surrendering and praying for growth the Lord can get pretty creative with his teaching methods.
Nervous and emotional at the prospect of speaking in front of a crowd of children and parents, the Lord was teaching me to rely solely on his strength to get through. In the end, I survived and people were able to hear me albeit with the aid of electronics.
As of late I’ve been noticing a pattern in my life. I am a control freak. I never saw myself as such. I like to think of myself as pretty laid back.
Recently, I went away on a retreat where I had time just to sit and relax. This relaxation in and of itself was hard for me. While, I have no problem sitting still, even then my mind is working. I’m usually listening to or thinking through something. On my retreat, It was next to impossible for me to shut off all of the voices and just sit and talk to the Lord with no timetables or todos.
In the day to day of life, there are a lot of demands on me. Whether it be my husband, children, house, or outside commitments. It’s hard to settle in and find room for rest. What I realize about myself is that I’m afraid to sit still and hear from the Lord. I’m comfortable in the “busy” of life.
Can you relate?
I have been homeschooling for what seems like forever. It is hard to believe it has only been ten years. And it is even harder to believe I have close to twenty more to go.
Its been a sanctifying process for me as well as my children. The Lord has been gracious and continues to grant us grace to get through each and every day, month, and year. He has given me so many lessons in this journey so far and today I want to share those with you.
These lessons have not come easy. They have come through very hard days, but the Lord is faithful to continue molding us to be more like Him. Praise the Lord! In this post, I want to highlight my top 10 lessons for you mom. I want you to be encouraged whether you are just starting out or need a reminder of the lessons the Lord has taught you.